How to tell if a woman is in trouble

Over 6 million women a year suffer physical violence inflicted by their intimate partners. Out of fear, most of these women deny or try to hide their abuse. In fact, abusers often batter women in places that don't "show" so their secret aggression can't be found out.
It is important to remember that there are many ways to tell if a woman is in trouble. Whether she is a friend, co-worker or family member, she is likely to send clues indicating something may be wrong.
If you suspect someone you know may be the victim of abuse, review the checklist below. If one or more traits are exhibited, encourage her to seek help.

Does she often have bruises or injuries? Does she dismiss them or does the explanation she offers not make sense?

Does she tend to cancel plans at the last minute, without saying why? Does she seem isolated and unable to socialize on her own?.

Does she seem afraid of making her husband or partner angry? Does she need his "permission" or must she follow "his" rules?

What is her mood and appearance? Does she seem pale, tired all the time, thin, frantic, nervous, meek or anxious?

Is she overly jumpy or rattled by unexpected noises or sudden movements?

What is the tone of her voice? Does her speech seem rushed or labored? Does she seem overly cautious about "saying the right thing"?

Does she receive an inappropriate number of private phone calls?

Does she give you the feeling that there's something she wants to tell you, but can't quite do it?

Has she ever described an abusive behavior, but then rush to defend the abuser?


Remember, a woman who is being abused is living in a very dangerous situation. When offering assistance or comfort, speak to her directly, but gently. Give her time to talk. Don't push or rush to judgement.

Information provided by Raphael House of Portland in their publication "take care- a guide for violence-free living".